i wish i knew why he's doing and saying all this stuff. but then it's just a wish. hte only thing i can do about it is ask. sad to say i am a coward.
9:01 PM
Love You
damn! i was typing this whole entry when something happend and everything just got deleted!
anyhoo, finally! i have eaten a sumptuous dinner here at my aunt's house in davao. after a lot of waiting (4hours) we actually boarded the plane and arrive at davao international airport. and right now, tinatamad na ko magtype! goodness! i missed episode2 season1 of the simple life! damn!!! and i wasn't able to get the pictures from kayla today, so i have to wait for 1 week for me to get my copy of the pictures! grrrr.. man! i am so tired! and there's still this park thing going on tomorrow. then we're going to pick up my cousin mm -who is a dean's lister at Philippine Science High School - and attend awarding ceremonies after the 'park thing'. okay.. so basically i'm just goin to narrate what just happend to me over the weekend and yesterday and the day before that and the day before .... ????... hahaha i dunno!
okay over the weekend (23&24) i went to kayla's birthday party at holiday inn, galleria. we checked in there. we went night swimming, then dinner, then back at the hotel room we had "confessions", watched sex and the city and played pusoy dos till 3am!! then the next morning we made a time capsule before going swimming. nikkie borrowed my one piece so i had to wear my bikini. hehehe. there was this cute guy!! unfortunately we weren't able to get his name! but we amde friends with this cute little boy named jansel. we even had pictures with him! hahaha! then we went to sm north after checking out cause that's where the drop off is. but before we all part ways xmpre! picture picture! hahaha.. basically that was it. my parents picked me up then we went somewhere then ate dinner.
it was said that monday (25th) was the start of our sembreak so i just slept til noon and watched tv all day! and cried! bacause i was missing someone... i was even thingking of moving on. then i said "pag di siya nagreply sa tinext ko, i have to move on!" after an hour, nagtext siya!!!! so,, i am still in love with him!! hahaha.. after being happy my classmate called sayin: sembreak's over. back to the original sched! there's class tomorrow.
but bein the good student that i am, i didn't go to school on tuesday! hahaha.. i jus twent to tutor to do my homework in math! turned out that i am one of the two who had her hw passed around for the class to copy! hahaha.. anyway, when i was in tlc, cj was seating beside me and he was so sweet! he offered me a cookie! hehehe..
i won't be able to continue typing this tonight cause i am being forced to go to sleep already.. busy day tomorrow!!
10:25 PM
Love You
pucha! i'm getting impatient! good thing there's this free internet here at the new airport! damn! our flight's delayed by 3hours! and we arrive an hour earlier. meaning we have to sit and wait for 4hours!!!
things to be happy about:
today is my bestfriend's birthday.. ANGELA!!!
my other best friend's finally gonna make a move!!! yeah!! go RICH!!
i'm looking forward on seeing my cousins
alex appreciates my sweetness
my friends love me
and a lot more!!
it's been sometime since i have updated this thing and a lot happened over the weekend!!
it was kayla's birthday celebration. we checked in at holiday inn and we had alot of fun!!!
we went swimming, we had confessions and we saw some cute guys!!!
anyway, i have to go now..
4:30 PM
Love You
okay.. i am soooo KILIIG!! i checked my mail, then it said : friendster@friendster.com [or something like that] new friendster testimonial from @@@@!
i was really kilig!!then his testimonial went like this:
kamille. . . astig na tao.. tgal ko na d nakakausap.. hehe.. mabait.. nkakatawa.. matalino.. nway may part 2 to.. kya dont wori.. hehe.. ingat ka.. --> bighug<-- =)
ka-chat ko si karla and she persuaded me of asking daniel if he still knows me. and yes he does! wow!!! i am just so happy!! plus i got a perfect score in my sw in math today plus! i annoyed mr. fajardo BIGTIME!!! hahaha.. i was so noisy and was laughing and tried to make my seatmates talk and start laughing and i did not sit on my "proper seat" [oh well who cares???]
i need to go and eat dinner!!
7:12 PM
Love You
AAAACCCCKKK!! i am so disoriented.. and unfocused!! i typed his freakin name!! but he wouldn't visit this blog so i think it's okay..
damn! i need a new phone.. my phone's been shutting off lately.. and i'm sick of it!! and my dad's cutting my line. gonna go back to freaking prepaid!! it sucks big time!!
i have no idea why my past is "resurfacing". for one: daniel is resurfacing after 2 years of no contact. i swear! he doesn't even remember me! but he is connected to me through John(kayla's friend) and Monci(this is also kay's friend and my friend) and my friend Karla is having an interaction with his class. damn!!! two: vincent. somehow, i was wishing i'd bump into him yesterday. and i sent PMed him.
okay those are the pasts that 'resurfaced'. damn! i'm hungry!! it's already 11:15 pm. and i haven't eaten anytinh but candy. it's not good for my health. skippin meals is a big NO-NO! but i can't help it. especially when i'm in school and need to pass some freakin projects for freakin subjects! gosh! it's freezin here..
11:20 PM
Love You
i am in an internet cafe. and my dad's paying for 4 open time PCs. and i am not suppose to be any of it. but i am kamille so he will pay for it. gosh! i am such a bad kid. i have started cutting french(again!) but i swear! i try to attend regularly.. i have been chatting with jon for i don't know since what time. and we talked about alex for a little time.. GOD!! i miss him! sobra.. i am so called. as in literally cold! damn! i haven't eaten dinner yet.. anyway,, i haven't heard from him... wait i already said that! ack! i can't concentrate!!!
11:10 PM
Love You
that's the topic for our last top ten in physics..
and my entry got in...
grown ups are big babies!!let the grown-ups deal with their problems.you have your own problems to deal with.and if they bug you. let them be. they just want to share their "HELL" with you. damn!! yesterday was one hell of a day!! we had this borin career talk in school. then my parents came to pick me up coz we're goin to watch Ladder 49. but i don't know what came to me, that i got really pissed off with them, and the school. i said i don't want to come. so they left. i was really really pissed!!! so i decided to go home late. i went to sm after the freakin career talk. (btw, it finished around 6 pm and all i did was read 'Deception Point' by Dan Brown and sleep!) i couldn't decide on what book to buy so i ended up buying a cute headband with a butterfly!=) and raspberry born lippy at bodyshop. then got myself a strawberry frost at figaro before commuting home. (YES! finally i know how to commute! i learned just early this year. around late January! hehehe..) i got home 30 minutes before my parents arrived. (good thing! or else i'll be dead right now!) but i am not. because i just went to glorietta with my dad. and i bought a new swimsuit. (hahaha! it's october and i'm buying a swimsuit! i must be nuts. unforutnately I AM NOT!) i needed a 1-piece swimsuit for my training so papa bought me one. i also got kayla her gift.(we're goin to holiday inn on her birthday party next week!!). when we were about to leave i went to the bathroom and to my horror,, my lips were chapped already(because i was so thirsty!) and i am pale!!! pucha! my dad wasn't even telling me i look like a ghost! so i applied some lip balm and lip gloss to have some color on my lips and some cheek tint. i was complaining to my dad about it but he just shrugged. if i was with my mom,she would've told me to put some color on my face. and i didn't just get a bathign suit but also the white skirt i was eyeing at bayo. hmmmm.. but i was with my dad who doesn't give a damn about make-up and clothes and shoes. but i could totally ask him to buy any books i want! =) okay, my sundo is here.. gotta go...
10:40 PM
Love You
it's my brother's birthday today. he's now 12 yet is still scared of girls. i am gettin teary eyed right now. NOT because my brother is now a year older but because i haven't got enough sleep. i slept around 1 am and woke up 8am this morning. i haven't got a decent sleep yet. and it's impossible with all my cousins around here. i was texting with karla awhile ago and she mentioned that "wait for him.. wag mo kasing madaliin si ****.." and i'm like "what? bkit? di ko naman xa minamadali eh.." and really i don't rush him. no pressure coming from me. and i feel that karla knows something. maybe 'he' is talking to karla lately.. oh well. what do i know? WTF??? life is so cruel. but then it's not. haay,, labo!!!
my little cousin is bugging me!! and i'm gettin a bit irritated. not that i don't love kids. i do. last night i was watching SHARK TALE last night with my little cousins and i was the only big girl there. as in literally big. hahaha! it was so funny!!! i love sharks!! hahaha..
btw, i am now wearing glasses. but i don't wear it like all the time. just when i read. i am nearsighted kasi. *haaay, i miss him! i always wish he's the one texting me.. but unfortunately, it's not him. i haven't received any messages from him since thursday.* i wanna get a copy of this month's candy ish. and my tita just gave me moolah to buy meg and candy plus the book "wander girl"!!! yey!!! so good!! ^life wasn't that bad after all^ and kay's lending me her 'una and miguel' book. i really wish papa will allow me to go to claret's fair. but if not, i guess it'll be ok. but he wouldn't know. hahaha!! joke! i am a changed person now. that's why i am gonna go start memorizing all the formulas and charge of monoatomic and polyatomic ions or else i am so gonna screw my oral test in CHEM!!! i am actually loving the subject. cause i understand it but it's just really hard to name compounds because you have to memorize the ions and their charges!! gosh! it's really frustrating..
6:20 AM
Love You
I just remembered the little heart to heart talk I had with Lorie. We were in the same boat (but not exactly the same) it made me really cry. Damn! Then my best friend (Charles) got down and we talked about it. For him **** is not worthy for my tears. I decided to ask him if he still had feelings. We discussed about his love life and I found out that k** wasn’t and has not been part of it. (I guess) the last thing he said was “wait and see.” And that’s what I’m doing again. Dang! I’m tired!!!
10:55 AM
Love You
Oh wow! Just when I decided to move on, he would come being all sweet and stuff, that made me go hyperventilate in the middle of my physics class!!! Then after that I haven’t heard from him again for some time.
Sometimes when you think you’re alone and you’re problems too big and heavy for you to handle. Look around you and there are half a dozen people who are feeling the same thing. They might even carry the same problem that you have. That’s what I learned, along with a few of my classmates.
It all started when I got back to our classroom after doing my ‘ritual’ with Lanny at the lavatory. We saw Johnafelle crying. After some ‘preaching’(that’s what my classmates called it) and a lot of comforting, we found out what her problem was and I started sharing, so did Steffi and Jowie. WOW!! A lot of men really love to cheat. That’s the last thing that I wanted to happen to me. I don’t want to get cheated on. Oh well, I thinks it’s in their nature to cheat.
10:34 AM
Love You
wow! i just typed a new post and i accidentally got it deleted! eeek! oh well.. what's with friendster? i decided to make 'him' a decent testimonial. because the last one was like this :'nerd! =p hehehe.. tc' wow! what a testimonial! so i decided to make it longer this time. anyhow, what happened was when i got to his friendster i found it hard to breath and i experienced chest pains. (note:i am not exaggerating. that's really how i felt.) i wanted to cry. but then i know the reason was pathetic. i miss him. the last time i heard from him was when he texted me good morning last monday.
it's hard to guess what someone feels for you. you might end up hurting and making a BIG fool out of yourself. the only way to know how he feels about you is muster up the courage to ask him. which i am to scared to do. i fear rejection. i fear of losing our friendship. i fear a lot of things.
it's hard to read between the lines. you might misinterpret them. that's why i have no idea if he still likes me. but if the feeling's gone, there is one person to blame. me. if i didn't do what i did. if i didn't say what i said before then, there is a possibility that he still likes me. but then as he said, 'there is no use crying over spilled milk.' the damage was done and i can't do anything about it.
my friend once told me that bottling up your feelings is bad for one's health. if it is then i should be dead. i have been having the same dilemma over the same guy for 2 1/2 years now. and it's getting worse. no matter how hard i try to look for a new love it always fall apart becaus ei end up comparing them to him. and yet i have no idea if he knows what i feel for him. it's like all our common friends know about my feeling for him. and yet, he doesn't know. damn! it's hard to love someone from the sidelines! and what makes my mind go crazy are the things about him that are somehow connected to me or shows of signs that he likes me too, but i keep on telling myself "he's just being nice."
4:30 PM
Love You
i was checking my friendster account when i decided to make testimonials for my friends. so i went to 'his' friendster. i have no idea why my breathing became hard and deep. i was in the verge of crying when i read some girls's testimonials for him. i know i'm not suppose to cry over him. but i can't help to not get hurt of the little things that remind me of him. i have no idea if he still likes me or not! the last time we talked about our feelings was last sept. 3, 2004. and he said "akla ko kc iba ung gusto mo kya cguro di ko pnpkita na i like u.. smhow". he has a new email address that's somehow similar to MY address. firstname_lastname04@yahoo mine is: firstname_04@yahoo. i don't know if that coincidence but his first email add was lastname_sectionboy15@yahoo. (those are not the exact emails. but that's the idea) i am really not feeling so well right now. i want to collapse. we haven't talked since that morning message last monday. i really miss him. bu ti dare not text him. it's my pride. but what the hell! he won't reply anyway. how can one be so clueless??? i don't know if i'm reading his actions the right way. or am i misinterpreting it. he asked me out for a movie. or atleast i think he did. he said "watch tau smtym.." but there's no definite place and date. how will it happen??? uuuggghhh!!! this sucks!!
3:56 PM
Love You
i'm the only one that's still awake in this house. i can hear the 'click click' of the keyboard while i'm typing. it's a wonder how come i'm not in bed after this day. i woke up early today! really early for a saturday. around 9:30 am. that's early considering i have no plans for today but be a couch potato (which i must say that i am very good at, they should pay 100 pesos an hour! hahaha!). but anyway, after eating my lunch while watching will&grace, my dad asked if i wanted to go with him so i can also get a #6 string for my guitar. i said yes. we(me, mom and papa) went to shopwise(across Rustan's cubao) to get some groceries. my mom asked me to get some milk and some canned goods but i ended up buying some cologne, lip balm, lip gloss, loofah, chocolate milk and all the stuff i like that are not really in the shopping list. but they bought it anyway. i can't believe that 4 bottles of shampoo, 2 conditioners, 4 boxes of soap, 10 liters of milk, a dozen canned goods, blah blah blah would sum up to almost 9ooo! WOW! really disturbing. food's really expensive nowadays.
so, after that we went to katipunan to pick up my brother in TLC.(sad to say there were no HS students) when we were about to leave, the car wouldn't start! gosh! i look so stupid! i mean, my brother knows how to tinker with cars so are my parents. so little ignorant me, just stood there watching them try to start the car. so after i don't know what they did(iwent inside the car cause really felt that i was of no use) the car started. we went to the dermatologist but unfortunately she's in a convention somewhere and will be back monday, we went home. no, i wasn't able to get a #6 string for my guitar but i didn't feel bad at all.[knowing me that's an improvement!]
i was watching one tree hill awhile ago, and i cried cause lucas is leaving tree hill. i think that was the final episode! hailey and nathan got married so that they could have sex! lucas went with keith to somewhere, he and payton didn't even talk! uugghh! i cried when lucas told hailey that he's leaving tree hill for good. i don't want my best friend to leave me. speaking of my best friend... i havn't talk to any of them this week! (any= 2 best friends. angela and charles; they are not related to each other at all!) oh, and charles' girlfriend's best friend dropped by my house earlier while i'm watching queer eye for the straight guy with her cousin. Val was wearing really REALLY short shorts. we were talking outside when this blue van full of guys asked for a really stupid question!
guy at the passenger seat(GPS): pwede magtanong? san ho yung pajo?
me: eto pong street na to pajo.
driver: yung pajo langka.-
GPS: number 28.
val's cousin: dun pa po sa dulo.
guy at the back and GPS: thank you!
driver: eh, yung santa mesa?
guys at the back: hahaha
me and val:?????????
val's cuz: hehehe
then the van left...
val's cuz: gets ko yun!
me: kahit itanong nila kung san ang santa mesa di ko sasagutin!
val: ???
me: di ko kasi alam kung san yun eh.. hahaha
val: ano ba meron dun?
val's cuz: motel.
see?? we have no idea what that 'asking for directions' all about! well, except for val's cousin! eeeewwww!!!! after that they left.
i'm trying to figure out what to do besides what i'm doing now. oh well.. i'll just surf the net. again. i really wish he would go online!!!!
2:06 PM
Love You
finally i found time to make a new blog! hahaha.. today's pretty boring. besides the fact that:
1) my entry got into our Physics top 10 of the day. the topic was 'my little moment of heaven'. this was my enrty:
I AM A FAIRYduring my vacation in Sorsogon, i have witnessed the most beautiful sunset i have ever seen.the sea was the color of the sky, the corals are whistling and if you listen closely you'll hear God.being one with nature is being in heaven.that was the top 3 entry of the day. 2)i attended ISCF and had fun singing, socializing with the seniors, sophies, freshies, my fellow juniors, ate nikka, kuya mark, lola edna, and mrs. lumibao.3) got a perfect score in our ap test.that's it. see.. really boring! oh and 4)i was hiding from my french teacher because i cut her class. (hehehe)i got home by 6:30 pm and i am still in my uniform. i am hungry and there is no dinner, yet. my phone's out of batt and i am too lazy to recharge it. i want to go to TLC but i have no reason to go. i just realize i totally suck in French! i can't even spell ajourd'hui (i'm not sure if that's the correct spelling!) meaning 'today' correctly! i can not carry a regular conversation fluently. though i can say some nasty things in French. hahaha. but sometimes i mix them up.. eeek! i am craving for.... i don't know. i am not in the mood to eat even though i am hungry. [that's weird!] i have really weird eating habits. i like my food to have cheese. oh well, who cares? i don't. this is boring.. he's not even online! i go online everyday, hoping he would IM me. but too much for my hope. he doesn't have time. i pick up my brother sometimes, wishing i'd bump into him. well, tough luck! i never did. life is so twisted! if i'd be granted a wish, i'd wish that i get all the answers to all my questions. ha! that would be really tough! that would be wishing for heaven!
9:53 AM
Love You